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The Best Part [23 Jan 2009|02:33am]
The best part of being awake at 2:40am? Chatting with Andria, who always makes everything better! And I chatted with her wife YESTERDAY morning! How awesome is that???

I love you all very very much. Never forget that. Love lives here.
11 comments|post comment

Happy New Year! [01 Jan 2009|02:53pm]
From my mother this morning:

It's late and I should be going to bed but I wanted to let you know that the referee today said her recommendation is that Andy have legal custody of William !!!!!!! I was shocked...Andy is beside himself...but nothing is final. Art has to send the recommendation to the judge and if the judge signs off, we're done. But, if the judge says no, and they want a hearing, then we do this over again and in more depth in court. Art says the thing we had going for us today was that Port Huron is a conservative county and the drinking and drugs didn't go over well. But, Brandy had no representation and if she figures out a way to get some then it might be a different ballgame. Your dad and Andy are almost (I think) too positive. If it goes to court, they will give her representation I bet. So, keep your fingers crossed that the judge trusts this referee and just signs off. The rest of her recommendation was that Brandy could get William on weekends if that's the visitation schedule they want to stay with, but now she can do the driving and come get him and return him Sunday night. And pay child support! What? With what? She's already lost her part time job that welfare got her - laid off according to her. Her phone is turned off. I hope this judge likes this referee :)
Please, please.
Happy New Year!
Love you, Mom
6 comments|post comment

T-Minus 24, and counting [13 Dec 2008|01:10pm]
There's a lot to do, but I have a plan. It's always better to have a plan of attack, even if that plan is, "ATTACK!!!!"

Am I packed? Nope.

Are all my clothes that I need to pack clean? Nope.

Do I have all my travel paperwork in order? Nope.

Do I have all my stuff together? Nope.

Is my house clean? Nope.

Do I have any money? Nope.

Did your replacement credit card arrive? It's being held hostage at Fed Ex.

Did I get all my Christmas packages shipped? Nope.

Am I worried? Nope.

Calm down, people. I got this. I'm only going to Antarctica, for heaven's sake.

See you on the other side!
12 comments|post comment

Letter to the Editor of Stealing Bastage Quarterly [10 Dec 2008|02:41pm]
The economy is in the toilet, and it's a REALLY cute purse, so I can understand why someone would want it. And there were NO charges on any credit cards, and it's a little purse so very little fits in it. But still, I hate thieves!

Dear Moral Monstrosity,

You cost me a total of $215 today, and that's in addition to the $100 you got yesterday. You also sucked up many hours of my life, some of which was spent at the DMV and THAT, you thieving turd, is INEXCUSABLE. Did you know that in the state of Colorado there appears to be some sort of upper limit on employee IQ?? Not to mention the very, very, very bad hair (think 1986 homecoming queen). And I think they're still using Commodore 64s. There is a special level in Hell just for you.

And while it's true that my phone was old and I needed a new one, I didn't need a new phone 4 days before I leave the country. Now I get to pay $75 for my phone to be OFF for seven weeks, so I'm adding that to your total, crapface. Luckily for you gas is cheap, but you're an asshole so I'm charging you 0.50/mile. I had to go from the DMV to the bank to the police station and back to the DMV again, and they are NOT CLOSE TOGETHER. And then add $7.50, which happens to be the amount the city charges for a copy of a police report. The report I had to make because you are a disgusting degenerate and that the DMV required before sucking up MORE of my precious time. TIME IS MONEY.

And there was a book of stamps in that purse, too. HOLIDAY STAMPS, you slobbering swine. You're heart is full of unwashed socks, your soul is full of gunk, Mr. Grinch. The three words that best describe you are, and I quote, "Stink. Stank. Stunk." Also, I loved that effing purse! And now it's immortalized on a police report as a Blue Pleather Purse with Bow, when that really does NOT do it justice at ALL. That's like writing, "Gay Writer Dude with Cigarette" on Oscar Wilde's tomb, you rotten son of a bitch.

In conclusion, besides being a reprehensible and likely unlovable beast, you owe me $491.10. Make it an even $500 for being such a total piece of shit.

Merrily,
Dr. Hula

p.s. My karma is typically very good, so you might want to avoid train tracks, bus routes, dog kennels, or day care facilities. You think I'm kidding? There's a 4-year old in Chicago who's already looking for you.
12 comments|post comment

Pain in the Ass [09 Dec 2008|01:22pm]
If you're ever looking for a way to really, really, REALLY ruin someone's day, steal their purse five days before they leave the country.

Yep. Thanks, thieving bitches. You've got my phone (which now doesn't work), my credit cards (which are canceled), my debit card (which is canceled), my identification (seriously bad photo), lipstick in blushing berry, some Certs, and my FAVORITE PURSE. I've thwarted you in every possible way, so just give me my effing purse back. And don't even THINK of doing the NYTimes crossword puzzle I cut out of the paper this morning.

Birdy spent a significant amount of time calling my phone (before I reported it stolen) and chanting, "Answer, you petty thieves. Answer and MEET YOUR MAKER." It goes without saying here, although I'm saying it anyway, if I had your phone number, now I don't, so send it.
24 comments|post comment

Thanksgiving Roundup [04 Dec 2008|01:56pm]
On two cold, dark mornings, Mander left the house early to sit in a tree and be thwarted by the wildlife. She didn't catch anything, but she looked damn foxy. She even has one of those fancy deer calling things.

Hunting Mander

Maybe it was a poultry calling thingy? That would explain these guys...

Chickens

On days when there wasn't a sniper in the immediate vicinity, Ruby and I went out to play.

On a Walk

We checked on some bugs overwintering in the leaves beneath some patio chairs.

Bug Haven

We built a Snow Dude (Amanda made the eyeballs).

SnowDude!

We searched for "clues" by tracking deer in the snow. We also did a lot of Piglet tracking. Her little footprints are EASY to spot. And they're everywhere.

PIG!

Thanksgiving morning Sofie and I started baking. I managed to let Sof burn her pinkie finger on the oven, so Ruby stepped in to help with the rest. The girls are VERY good bakers. We made 2 strawberry upside down cakes, a pumpkin pie, pumpkin chocolate chip muffins and a berry cobbler. They like to measure and stir and crack eggs. I am proud to say that there were NO bits of egg shell in ANY of the desserts.

Surveying the Goods
Pie!!
Wine

Fudge and her family came over for dessert. Four pies, two cakes, one cobbler, homemade caramels and peanut brittle... we certainly weren't lacking in holiday sweets. We had a lot of fun visiting, and it was just the right number and combination of people.

Thanksgiving Gang

Poor Fudge was broken in foot only, not in spirit.

Fudge is broken!

Ruby took these pictures while all the boring adults were having coffee. The woman in white is Miss Florence. Ruby took a shine to her right away, and they put together FIVE puzzles before Ruby went to bed.

by Ruby
by Ruby
by Ruby
by Ruby

And it seems Ruby has her OWN "Sisterhood" Photo Essay.

by Ruby
by Ruby
by Ruby

Three servings of pink cake later (what? it was THANKSGIVING), Sofia buzzed around the room like a hummingbird and then abruptly passed out on the couch. I managed to get pajamas on her without waking her up before Amanda carted her off to bed.

It was a great visit. Thanks girls, I miss you!!

Happy Ruby
Pearly Whites
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Thanksgiving Roundup [02 Dec 2008|02:53pm]
A photo essay on Sisterhood by Sofia.

by Sofia
by Sofia
by Sofia
by Sofia
by Sofia
by Sofia
3 comments|post comment

Well then, no worries, eh? [02 Dec 2008|11:04am]


You Are 72% Likely to Survive Another Great Depression



Even though you may not be expecting the worst, you're the type of person who prepares for the worst.

You live a relatively modest life. You don't overspend, and you aren't very materialistic.



You are also quite self sufficient and independent. You have many useful skills.

You can take care of yourself and those you love... which is crucial to surviving another Great Depression.

3 comments|post comment

Holiday Lurve [01 Dec 2008|03:40pm]
SOMEONE (who is me) finished all their holiday gifts this weekend! I'll give you a peek, but not a big one...

Busy Holiday

Before I left for Ithaca I sent out Alex and David's birthday presents. David gets an obnoxiously cute dinosaur. His khaki pants have T-Rex footprints on them.

David's Birthday Shirt

Alex gets a dump truck. Or rather, a Trucking Corporation. I'm getting much better at painting trucks. And why WOULDN'T he be incorporated? He's got a big successful hauling company, he has no time to drive trucks, only to rake in the dough! Ha!

Alex's Birthday Shirt

And to show off how hard I love and get loved back, here is my big fat Thanksgiving surprise.

Helen's Plate

Sofia's Plate

Ruby's Plate

Turkey Platter

"Faith, Hope, Love, abide these three, but the greatest of these is Love."
7 comments|post comment

Fat and Happy [27 Nov 2008|10:01pm]
I know I'm NORMALLY fat and happy, so I should have titled this entry fatter and happier, but since I'm not even over-stuffed (it's Thanksgiving!), that seemed silly. My stomach has either gotten a LOT stretchier or I've suddenly become better at doling out a reasonable portion. Since my pants are still loose, I think it must be the latter. I certainly didn't sacrifice anything - there was a place on my plate where cheese sauce AND giblet gravy combined into one amazing puddle I will have dreams about tonight - I just didn't have seven helpings of everything. I didn't even eat the pink cake Sofie and I made.

The pink cake I almost turned out onto my BIG GIANT SURPRISE.

Oh yes, as if every year I need a NEW reason to cry at Thanksgiving (I know, I'm such a baby), I nearly turned a sticky pink cake out onto a platter made by my nephews, surrounded by plates made by my nieces. The platter read, "Aunt Breana's Turkeys" with Alex, William and David's hand turkeys, and three desert plates, one by Ruby, one by Sofie, and one that was my "Southern Fried Turkey" Helen Rose! I was totally caught off guard, and I realized things in stages. It was such a great gift and the most amazing part is that NOBODY GAVE IT AWAY.

That's five women I interact with ALL. THE. TIME. and six children, two of whom were RIGHT HERE. That must have been an enormous undertaking in itself. But then to organize such an awesome thing for ME? For ME? I don't even get Christmas this year, and it's for ME? I could just melt for all the love. How could anybody who has such a great family ever be sad? If I'm ever feeling blue I'm just going to eat off those plates and remember that I am so, so loved. It's an enormous fear of mine to become disconnected with my nieces and nephews, but here are all their hand prints, all glazed and permanently little, no matter how big they get.

Fat and Happy. So happy.
10 comments|post comment

Pah-HA! I'm the Winner! [23 Nov 2008|01:01pm]
Yesterday I worked out TWICE, which is a personal record. I went to the gym and rode the stationary bike for an undetermined amount of time (it was longer than 30 min but less than an hour, I think) and then in the evening I took Beatrice out for a run again. It was COLD, so I wore my long underwear AND two t-shirts AND yoga pants AND a hat AND scarf AND mittens. Bea didn't put on any extra clothes. I guess she was perfectly comfortable.

I jogged for a lot longer than last time, but mostly because Bea was ready to run and didn't stop so often. A couple of times I banged into her, and once almost went right over the top of her, but it wasn't nearly as bad as before. She got tired (poor puppy!) so after a while we just alternated walking and sprinting. SPRINT! Just a flat out run for as long as I could, with Beatrice loping along beside, tongue hanging half out of her head.

I organized my entire pantry looking for the charger for my Swiffer Sweeper. It wasn't in there, but it's the first time my pantry has been organized since I moved in. Usually getting things out of there is a lot like calving; arm in to the shoulder, searching for something you think is in there but isn't presenting itself properly. Except at the end you have a light bulb (masking tape, ruler, extension cord, peach preserves, etc) instead of a baby cow and a messy arm.

I found the charger in a drawer I swear I've check twelve times. Ain't that always the way?

I cleaned house and painted outfits for Alex and David, and they turned out SO CUTE. Alex gets a dump truck (I wrote Alex's Hauling Inc. on the side) and David gets the cutest effing T-rex ever. They got matching pants too, Alex has a monster truck wheel on his back pocket and David's khakis have dinosaur footprints on the cuffs. Seriously, I didn't know I was SO GOOD at dinosaurs. This thing is adorable. They're having a joint birthday party today. Alex will be SIX on Thursday. SIX!

And where will I be on Thursday? EATING TURKEY WITH THE GIRLS IN ITHACA!!! I have to leave my house at 4am and change planes twice, but dammit, I'm getting there. Feel free to be very jealous.
5 comments|post comment

Oh My, Oh Me [21 Nov 2008|09:41am]
My blog cookies tell me that I've named an entry "Oh me, Oh my" at least twice before. It's because in true southern belle fashion, I often find that Fridays make me want to swoon, hand to forehead, upon a chaise lounge, exhausted from the nonsense of living every single day. It's so overly dramatic and yet so absolutely perfect. I need a fainting couch. In my office.

Chicky chicks

Today it's chicken work. Not the kind of chicken work Amanda and Andria do, with actual fowl, but the kind of mindless busywork that keeps a program running, the kind that has to be done to keep the finances in order, the office productive, the workers happy and the whole shebang moving forward.

Peck and scratch, peck and scratch.

I designed the postcards for this year - we've already selected a picture, I just pasted it in the template and checked the spelling. I'll walk over to the copy center and get them ordered this afternoon. I need to assemble and upload documents to a government server. I have to send out a few job packets (NY, MD, PA, LA, and MI). I should finish my coffee before it gets cold. I might spend a bit of time staring out the window at the naked linden branches shivering in the wind.

I've got a lot of crafting to do before leaving for Ithaca on Monday. I've been knitting hats like a mad, mad milliner, I've got four done and another on the needles very nearly done. I've used up four skeins of yarn and am excited to go get more. I always stick my hands in the bins of wool. Does anyone else do that? Anyway, I'll take my knitting to New York but I need to get all my sewing and painting done this weekend. I'm painting a birthday outfit for both David (dinosaurs) and Alex (trucks) and wooden plaques for Steph's mudroom. Then it's a couple of quick sewing projects for Christmas (lovely skirts and pillows) for various lucky relatives. I'm toying with the idea of scarves as well, long thin ones made from thick wool with fringe. The only problem with that is keeping the damn cat off them while I knit. She desperately wants in the hats, but won't fit.

I'm so excited about my handmade Christmas. I think everyone is going to LOVE what they get and I should be able to get it all done in three weeks before I deploy to McMurdo.

Three weeks! Oh me, oh my.
12 comments|post comment

Worst Running Partner Ever [20 Nov 2008|12:11pm]
Last night I was at work too late to make it to the gym, and I was unexpectedly disappointed. It was dark and cold outside but I decided to run anyway, just around my neighborhood. Other people do it all the time, so why not? I was a little scared to be running around the dark streets alone, so I asked Megan if I could take Beatrice.

Beatrice

Poor Bea nearly turned herself inside out with excitement when I grabbed the leash. I clipped a blinking red safely light to her harness and off we went. Being a dog must be very hard, because Bea kept stopping to smell things and I continuously bashed into her. We ran past several dogs along the way and for the most part she just kept running.

Until she yanked the leash from my hand and chased a small, ugly dog down the street. They tore around trees and through front yards, snarling and yipping the whole way. A woman jumped in front of Bea and yelled, "NO!" which stopped her right away. People sometimes have food, and her focus on the other dog was broken. I ran to where they were standing an apologized profusely, except that I wanted to say, "If your damn dog was on a leash, this whole thing wouldn't have happened!" The dog is cat sized, and when it darted away, Beatrice just couldn't help herself. It's not okay that she yanked the leash out of my hand, but she was just being a dog. I made Beatrice apologize but the little dog wasn't having any of it, and simply stared at Bea like two giant eyeballs attached to some carpet lint.

We jogged home where Megan was waiting for me with a glass of spiced cider. Life ain't so bad here, sometimes, I thought to myself as I rocked back and forth on the porch swing and sipped my beverage in the cool night air. Not bad at all. Even if my boss is a total bitch and my love life is in the toilet and I'm 6 lbs heavier than last year, I've got a drinking partner and a running partner living in my house. All is well.
6 comments|post comment

Perfect! [18 Nov 2008|03:51pm]
I am LOVING Colorado today!

Insanely Good Weather

Thursday's gonna suck, I guess. But today, oh today! Blessed sunshine and bare legs and all the wonderful things about being warm!
7 comments|post comment

Stress and Nightmares [11 Nov 2008|11:27am]
I always have nightmares when I'm stressed out. Right now I'm applying for 10 more jobs that require materials by December 1st. I'm also applying for promotion, for which my application is due ASAP. I submitted a research manuscript on Friday to a major ecological journal and must edit a proposal for resubmission to a funding agency before I leave for Thanksgiving. I'm neglecting friends and fur kids, and I'm so exhausted that last night when Megan asked me to go over and let Beatrice out (she got stuck at work) I curled up on her bed and fell asleep with her dog.

What am I doing here? I don't know. Typing as fast as I can, that's what.

I'm not getting great sleep because of the nightmares, which makes me cranky during the day. I've already verbally ripped Wanker's head off his body with my teeth, ground it between my molars, and spit it back on the floor, just because he accused me of being lazy when I arrived at the office late. He's refusing to talk to me now, which makes me happy.

This time the nightmares all involved death. In one, a large airplane crashed into a parking lot where I was standing with my parents. As the body of the plane skidded toward us, I braced for impact and thought calmly, "This is either going to hurt a lot or not at all." I don't remember the impact, but I was all alone. A Chinese woman pushed a little boy in a stroller. "Hey! That's my brother!" I yelled at her. "I find him over there," she said, "his mother is killed."

Suddenly I was transported to another nightmare in which I fell backwards in a deserted theater, impaling my head on a spike. I was afraid to move and figured I was going to die, so I began to drink from a bottle of red poison to get it over with. A friend found me and nonchalantly pulled the spike from my head. I wasn't even bleeding, but was now very sorry I had consumed the poison.

Then, in a radical scene change to nightmare the third, I was buying a large bag of bird feed at a nursery when the bag split and I poured seeds all over the floor. I tried to help the saleswoman clean them up, but she wouldn't let me. The seeds turned to glass and I backed away quickly, afraid to get cut. I bumped into a man carrying a pitchfork and he nearly stabbed me. That's when I fell through a hole in the floor.

This morning my head hurts, my back hurts, I'm cold and tired. My furnace broke Friday night and I can't get in touch with the landlord. A large space heater keeps me warm at night, but with the nightmares I still don't get much sleep. My headache is either weather or caffeine related, and my back is sore from sleeping under a pile of dog (at Megan's) and then cat (they want to stay warm, too). There's all this work to do and I just want to crawl under me desk and sleep on my foot warmer.

*sigh* Back to it, I suppose.
7 comments|post comment

Oops! How in the Hell did that happen? [07 Nov 2008|04:35pm]
Did you know that it's FRIDAY? That means tomorrow is Saturday. It seems like Saturday just happened! I'm not complaining, mind you, just hoping that I don't have early onset Alzheimer's because I do NOT remember this week. Gigi was here, we ate lots of good food, and watched Obama win the presidency. Did those two things take up all my brain space? Am I having a premature senior moment? I'm pretty sure I know where I live, though. And I still know all the words to Waterloo. And Super Trouper. I can't be too far gone. Or can I?

I imagine I'll spend this weekend stocking the pantry again. There are bags of pumpkin to be made into bread, and beet ravioli to assemble and pesto to freeze into bitty cubes. I dusted off Old Martha but am super excited to try my new Dairy Hollow House Soup and Bread book. Does anyone know how to keep their favorite books clean while cooking? Mine look like they've been at a Gallagher show. If food is going to fly out of the mixer/blender/skillet/stockpot, it will land on my glasses and on my cookbook. Every damn time.

Looky Cooky

I've got other domestic chores on the list for this weekend, like rake the leaves and find the charger for my Swiffer Vac. Stupid thing. Where could it BE? I also need to reorganize the pantry (no room for soup!) and paint the trim in the bedroom. But mostly I'll be making bread, I think. And starting on Christmas gifts.

Making Bread

With the exception of a couple of little things I got for Hulamom (they're PRE-Christmas presents, and therefore don't count), I'm making ALL my holiday gifts this year. Most adults are getting the same thing, but it's a hugely popular item so I'm confident it will go over well. Not only is this economical, but I hope it takes the pressure off people who can't afford to give much (or anything!) this season, to know that a small gift is on the way. Made just for them. Kids will be getting more tailored items, but still all handmade.

I know I'm fairly crafty, but this year I have to credit Ruby with launching the initiative. She brought me a ball of blue yarn in August and asked, "Can I have a hat that is just mine? That you made for me?" Sweet girl. Not that she is hat-less or even has to share hats, I could probably find six thousand under the girl's beds, but it was touching all the same. And for the record, the sparkly vessel in the top photo was made for me by Ruby and Sofie last Christmas. And it's just mine.
8 comments|post comment

Not For Nothing [05 Nov 2008|12:09pm]
GOOOOOOOOBAMA!!!! Gigi and I were having wine when the entire bar erupted in cheers. They had called Ohio for Obama, which made a McCain win impossible (we had already done the math in our heads, thank you very much CNN) but after the mess the media made of the 2000 and 2004 electorate, we didn't believe it. We didn't believe it when - before 9pm MST! - they called the whole shebang for Barack Obama. The entire bar was quiet. I think we were all afraid they were premature.

We got over it. The cheers ran the last of the Republicans out of the bar, which is probably a good thing because not only did Colorado go blue, but Larimer County went blue, for the first time in 35 years. We were at a wine bar, and suddenly it was like a frat party in there. I started to cry, and we made a dash for the door so that we could get home to hear the speeches (the bar was a bit rowdy). McCain's speech was gracious and heartfelt, an indication that the man we knew way back when was still in there somewhere. Everything about Obama's speech in Grant Park made me cry. I cried with relief, I cried with laughter, I cried with hope, but most of all I cried with pride, pride in my fellow Americans, and in my new President.

It made all that work I did for those chuckle heads in the campaign office worth it. All the walking and talking and knocking on doors and calling and killing 4 cell phones in a single afternoon. We did it. We made a difference. Yes we can.
3 comments|post comment

Election Jitters [04 Nov 2008|02:42pm]
I can't concentrate today, I just can't.

Gigi is here, she flew in from DC last night and will be here until... tomorrow? We're going to a bar in town to watch the election results come in. I tossed Ruby's hat (attempt #2, the first one fits MY head, so we'll match!) into my tote bag because I'll need busywork for my hands. We had dinner at a pub last night, perhaps she'll want to go someplace nice tonight instead of having greasy burgers at an establishment I often call, "Lumberjack Hell." I can think of many other place I'd rather go, so having an excuse NOT to meet everyone at the bar would be fine with me.

Last night we walked around town and I showed her all my favorite places. And all my least favorite places. She won't be here long enough to take her up to the mountains, which are the best part, and with our recent mild weather are absolutely GORGEOUS right now. While I've made a good life here and I love biking to work in the brisk mornings with the mountains at my back, I've never been so incredibly bored by an entire city. I've lived in little homogeneous towns before, but they ADMITTED to being little homogeneous towns. The most offensive thing about Fort Collins is how smitten it is with itself.

I am insanely jealous that Gigi lives in a real city, while I live in an episode of Petticoat Junction.

Heh. Hooterville. See what I mean? No concentration.
5 comments|post comment

The One Where I Overuse the Word AWESOME [03 Nov 2008|12:53pm]
Halloween was fantastic. And I have the pictures to prove it. )

The rest of the weekend was for me, and only for me. No obligations to friends or future presidents. Just me, and a lot of Susie Homemaking. I used up ALL the old produce in the fridge for Harvest Soup (which had to be canned because I can't eat 8 quarts of soup) to make room for the last two weeks of CSA produce. In those last two boxes were two giant pumpkins, which were roasted and partially used for 15 mini-loaves of bread. I say partially because I still have 5 quart-sized baggies of roasted pumpkin chunks in my freezer. I had to stop baking last night when I nearly set my kitchen on fire.

I did the laundry and ran the dishwasher and cleaned the floors and changed the cat litter and did the shopping and started my period twelve days early. All that bloating helped my costume, though, so it all worked out. I biked into town Sunday morning to have breakfast and do a bit of shopping (I needed a jar lifter, because my current system makes the process of canning an ER visit waiting to happen) and got hit on by a guy at the cafe. Sweet! Get hit on while bloated and wearing a bike helmet? I was having an outstandingly cute day, it seems. Summer and I were supposed to hike Horsetooth that afternoon but she got called into work, leaving me unattended in the fancy kitchen store, where I barely managed to get out without purchasing expensive French cookware - seriously Le Creuset, plastic handles on a dutch oven? I realize that the point of enamel-coated cast iron is to slow cook at low heat, but some of us are Le Stupid and will probably melt the damn handles! Did you not read the part about Le Fire???

For the record, nobody got hurt, probably because I am now a GAH FIRE IN THE OVEN PUT IT OUT PUT IT OUT expert. And my sink's spray nozzle is directly across from my oven, which is now directly over a puddle. No, not REALLY. But maybe.
22 comments|post comment

Nothing Like Fat Pants To Make You Want More Candy [31 Oct 2008|12:11pm]
Thanks for all your kind words regarding my feelings of guilt and badness yesterday. The guilt comes from within, usually unprovoked, and there's little I can do about it, but I can't feel too bad when I get an internet group hug, right? Thanks again, it really helps to know that people care. And thanks to Cyn for explaining the upside down thing. I'm remarkably stupid with finances and real estate and whatnot, I just don't have a knack for it, so while everyone talks about ARMs and index funds, I hear calliope music in my head and wonder what it would be like to bathe an elephant.

Vote!

Today is the last day for early voting. I turned in my mail-in ballot and had trouble finding a place to put my "I Voted" sticker (the shirt is all ruched! no flat spots!), so I slapped it on my chest. It's on pretty good. I got the pendant from Linda at Bell Design as a thank you for blogging about the first one! She offered me whatever design I wanted, absolutely free. She's very sweet, and has a kitty called Pyewacket!

This morning Ye Olde Department hosted a Halloween Party because everybody likes candy for breakfast. People bring their kids and we all have our pictures taken. Curly was a Stegosaurus, Pollyanna was a lab rat. Our lab manger came dressed as a mad scientist. Lady Di is in Kentucky giving a seminar, so she's missing out on all the fun. I was festively dressed in all black with a pointy hat and striped knee socks, carrying a cauldron. Wanker was wearing $200 "distressed" jeans and a designer oxford shirt, as per usual.

Hula: What are you dressed as, a Wanker? Nice job. Spot on.
Wanker: Thanks. Too bad you didn't have time to put on a costume.

I chucked a handful of Smarties from my cauldron at his head. Tonight Candice will be my date to Thingy's Halloween party. I've got a wool blazer with elbow patches, a bow tie, an ugly oxford shirt, a mustache, a pipe and a tweed hat. Basically I'm going as my grandfather circa 1960, when he was Assistant Professor of Foreign Language at Oakland University. Candice will be dressed as Trophy Wife Barbie because she already has plastic shoes and chunky jewelry. Plus she LOOKS like Barbie. Although she recently dyed her hair brown, so she might have to go as Trophy Wife Kelly, Barbie's best friend. Ha!
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